Something Against Rape & Abuse...

Some time ago I was talking to Shine about the differences in the lives of girls and boys, in general. We talked about many things like We don’t hear much about the incidences of a girl abusing a guy or a guy kidnapped and gang-raped by few pervert girls! Why females seem to have more control over their senses? Even in cases of child abuse we hear the news more about male being culprits. Though, there are cases where some male-children have been sexually abused by women, but comparatively they are rare. Just because women are physically weaker, they are considered as an object by many. Even after marriage the things and rituals are imposed on women in the name of culture and tradition while their male counterparts continue to live the way they were living before.  Eg. Ghoonghat, Compulsion Sarees, Karva-Chauth etc. There are infinite.

Few years back I remember I read about a tribal woman who died soon after giving birth to a baby. Reason: she hadn’t eaten anything for last 3 days prior to her delivery. Further it was found out that in her last expectancy, she had a miscarriage. When she went for the treatment she was referred from one hospital to another as she had no money. She wandered around carrying a dead embryo in her womb for 3 days.
 That time one more incidence happened at the railway station( I don’t remember the place) where an expecting woman gave birth to a child at the station. Men there stood around her watching the Delivery Tamasha.Is this the society and culture we women are entitled to?

Why the hormones of menare not in control and those of women are in control? Why the male species of humans are governed mostly by Id? There are other means of satisfying urges, why do the sick minds spoil lives of girl child or a normal lady going home from her work?

And how would the world be if it was the other way round. If women were ogling at men, checking out their behinds, and passing lewd comments or bestowing so called appreciations, eulogies starting with “sexy”. Or some cheap lady riding a bicycle, bidi dangling from her tobacco stained lips, asking an unwary passer by “chalta kya?” (translated: "coming with me?"). If there were some reserved seats in buses and trains for men- Males trying to maintain a safe distance from women with a fear that some of them could vulgarly slide their hands over them under the crowd cover, or pinch them here and there, or keep falling over them under the pretense of a rough drive, if time was such that left male sanctity at the mercy of females. Police lined up for the security of men around the University campus. Men worrying about stepping outside till late at evening or night. Parents scared of giving births to a male child, ending up aborting them. Women asking for dowry before marrying them. Male foeticide, low male:female ratio and then villages where males were being bought to satisfy the urges of all the women in the family, or the whole village against their will...

Ravana @ red Fort.

So while things could have been other way round but they are not, can we expect some control from the people with excessive testosterone imbalances. 

I was reading an article in 'The Hindu', the popular English daily titles "Where Rape is seen as violence" by Ruchira Gupta, who is a founder of Apne Aap Women Worldwide.
She quoted, "A cruel and bizarre Idea has surfaced since the rape of the 23 year old student in Delhi- that prostitution should be legalized because 'men will be men' and hence if prostitutes will cater to the needs of men, girls from good families will not be raped." She rightly said further: it implies that  poor women should  be sexually available to protect the middle class women.
So while there is majority of sensible men who do not see rape as sex but as violence, there are some in minority who have been born and brought up in such environments where women are treated as an object by their husbands or even by the new females relations- the notorious mother and sister in laws concept is so popular in India at least that they at least must be knowing what I'm talking about. The constant insults and abuses that they themselves might have been victims of once, are lashed upon the new daughter in law. As the role reversal takes place, a monster gets created out of a tamed docile "abla nari" That is a good enough proof of how culture continues to shape psyches.

     In India, where the cases of violence against womenfolk do not seem to be abaiting even after the mass protests for what happened with Damini (name changed), there is an emerging need for male education programs- about wrong and right. I read in one of the protest posters- "If men can't control themselves they should be discouraged to go out not us(women)". Film and TV Media including the commercials could show girls in good positions in society, rising to be an equal, caring for their own parents as well as in-laws and that could encourage the population towards a more balanced sex ratio. Such films should also be carefully designed so that they don't send wrong impressions about 'what women want' in young minds. Her No doesn't mean a Yes.

Many rapes that happen with lower or lower middle class women go unregistered due to the fear of stigmatization. Some fragile voices come up but they are oppressed by the powerful ones.

P.S. I clicked this image at Red Fort. Thought of sharing it on my blog and felt it rightly portrays the beasts I talked about here.