Some time ago I was talking to
Shine about the differences in the lives of girls and boys, in general. We talked
about many things
like We don’t hear much about the incidences of a girl abusing a guy or
a guy kidnapped and gang-raped by few pervert girls! Why females seem to have
more control over their senses? Even in cases of child abuse we hear the news
more about male being culprits. Though, there are cases where some male-children have been
sexually abused by women, but comparatively they are rare. Just because
women are physically weaker, they are considered as an object by many. Even after
marriage the things and rituals are imposed on women in the name of culture and
tradition while their male counterparts continue to live the way they were
living before. Eg.
Ghoonghat, Compulsion
Sarees,
Karva-Chauth etc. There are infinite.
Few years back I
remember I read about a tribal woman who died soon after giving birth to a
baby. Reason: she hadn’t eaten anything for last 3 days prior to her delivery.
Further it was found out that in her last expectancy, she had a miscarriage. When
she went for the treatment she was referred from one hospital to another as she
had no money. She wandered around carrying a dead embryo in her womb for 3
days.
That time one more incidence happened at the railway station(
I don’t remember the place) where an expecting woman gave birth to a child at
the station. Men there stood around her watching the Delivery Tamasha.Is this the society and culture we women are entitled to?
Why the hormones of menare not in control and those of
women are in control? Why the male species of humans are governed mostly by Id? There
are other means of satisfying urges, why do the sick minds spoil lives of girl
child or a normal lady going home from her work?
And
how would the world be if it was the other way round. If women were
ogling at men, checking out their behinds, and
passing lewd comments or bestowing so called appreciations, eulogies
starting with “sexy”. Or some cheap lady riding a bicycle, bidi dangling
from her tobacco stained lips, asking an unwary passer by “chalta kya?”
(translated: "coming with me?"). If there were some reserved seats in
buses and
trains for men- Males trying to maintain a safe distance from women with
a fear
that some of them could vulgarly slide their hands over them under the
crowd cover, or pinch them here and there, or keep falling over them
under the pretense of a rough drive, if time was such that left male
sanctity at the mercy
of females. Police lined up for the security of men around the
University
campus. Men worrying about stepping outside till late at evening or
night.
Parents scared of giving births to a male child, ending up aborting
them. Women
asking for dowry before marrying them. Male foeticide, low male:female
ratio
and then villages where males were being bought to satisfy the urges of
all the
women in the family, or the whole village against their will...
 |
| Ravana @ red Fort. |
So while things could have been other way round but they are
not, can we expect some control from the people with excessive testosterone
imbalances.
I was reading an article in
'The Hindu', the popular English daily titles "
Where Rape is seen as violence" by
Ruchira Gupta, who is a founder of
Apne Aap Women Worldwide.
She
quoted, "A cruel and bizarre Idea has surfaced since the rape of the 23
year old student in Delhi- that prostitution should be legalized
because 'men will be men' and hence if prostitutes will cater to the
needs of men, girls from good families will not be raped." She rightly
said further: it implies that poor women should be sexually
available to protect the middle class women.
So while
there is majority of sensible men who do not see rape as sex but as
violence, there are some in minority who have been born and brought up
in such environments where women are treated as an object by their
husbands or even by the new females relations- the notorious mother and
sister in laws concept is so popular in India at least that they at
least must be knowing what I'm talking about. The constant insults and
abuses that they themselves might have been victims of once, are lashed
upon the new daughter in law. As the role reversal takes place, a
monster gets created out of a tamed docile
"abla nari" That is a good
enough proof of how culture continues to shape psyches.
In India, where the cases of violence against womenfolk do not seem to be abaiting even after
the mass protests for what happened with Damini (name
changed), there is an emerging need for male education programs- about
wrong and right. I read in one of the protest posters- "If men can't
control themselves they should be discouraged to go out not us(women)".
Film and TV Media including the commercials could show girls in good
positions in society, rising to be an equal, caring for their own
parents as well as in-laws and that could encourage the population
towards a more balanced sex ratio. Such films should also be carefully
designed so that they don't send wrong impressions about 'what women
want' in young minds. Her No doesn't mean a Yes.
Many rapes that happen with lower or lower middle class
women go unregistered due to the fear of stigmatization. Some
fragile voices come up but they are oppressed by the powerful ones.
P.S. I clicked this image at Red Fort. Thought of sharing it on my blog and felt it rightly portrays the beasts I talked about here.
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