Elixired

Monday, May 2, 2016

April AtoZChallenge Post List, 2016

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Zealous Shopaholics Be wary!!!

Yesterday while walking in a mall I came across the store of one of my favorite brands. Those were not my lucky moments as the dresses I really liked were not available in my size, while the ones which fitted me, didn't suit me either. I was about to leave the place when my eyes rested on the accessories on display. A small placard beside them read ‘40% discount’. Being a girl my hunger to see more variety arose. So the saleswoman directed us to another corner, where some fifty or more pieces were shining bright. Pointing at all the available collection of accessories, she told us that everything had 40% discount on them, while if we buy two we will get them at special price of $36. GK enthusiastically asked me to select two, since it sounded like a real bargain to us. He started probing for the best ones that suited me from the lot. Being a picky shopper, I wanted only one piece from one store. I told him if I wanted to buy two, then they will have to be from two different stores. So we calculated their price after discount. It was $14 for one piece. I checked for the prices of all those I liked, and they were all the same. At the payment counter we again confirmed if all the pieces were on 40% discount on which the lady there said yes. Hence, we would have paid six dollars extra (after adding the taxes) on the latter offer of two pieces at ‘just’ 36 dollars. We realized we were better off buying two of them separately than together.

Thinking about it later, we were amused if people really fall for that. Probably to save oneself from the efforts of calculating the discounted price, zealous shopaholics do fall in such traps. The sound of latter offer was very inviting and convincing after all. I never encountered such tricks back home in Indian stores because, Indians are good with numbers and want to be doubly sure they are paying the right price that is being offered to them. I am glad I brushed up my mathematics lessons at school despite the nightmares it gave me years afterwards.

Saturday, April 30, 2016

You are known by the company you keep

Have you ever wonder why people are judged by the company they keep?

This world is a muddle of diversity. Every corner of this world is composed of people with different tastes, priorities, natures, upbringing and circumstances. In this confused mixture of masses, we find solace with those who are in close proximity with us.

‘Birds of a feather flock together’. While growing up, we were told by our parents to pay heed to those we hang out with. They told us that we will become like the ones we move around with. If we surround ourselves with intelligent souls, our orientation will shift towards knowledge. Our company throughout our lives will constantly, in its own subtle ways, be shaping our identity in future. It may also determine our social standing in the world. During all those years in school, college and job, our conversations, our psyche got tinted in the hues of those friends we accompanied. Those people who loved to indulge in extravagant life of materialistic pleasures, always tried to pull others on similar grounds to accompany them. On the other hand, those who were interested in books and philosophy attracted the interests of others too to ponder deeper. People with lot of negative energy and thoughts talked about negatives directly or indirectly most of the times, while happy people attracted happiness. We are mirrors to each other’s’ reflections. Our natures, way to tackle our problems, our orientations and way of carrying out conversations are reflected in each other. That comprise our character.

Some relationships have no flow of positive energy. They are full of ranting and negative thoughts. It is better to cut off those emotional strings of gloom and pessimism to be freed from uneasiness and tiredness they cause.

Every friendship or relationship should contribute to one's progress. There should be an exchange of thoughts and good knowledge from both the ends. Luck and cheer follow the joyous beings, while difficult ones attract difficulties. Keeping a good company is good for mental and physical health. And good set of friends contributes to a healthy, happy and progressive life.

Friday, April 29, 2016

X and Y, beginning of more complex problems in life…

After my graduation, I received a call on my phone from my old school. Authorities asked me to meet them, telling me there was some confusion regarding my 12th board exam result. I was tensed, not understanding what possibly could be wrong. I reached the school office and met with the P.A. to the principal. He informed me they had found some error in my mark-sheet. My math examination had miscalculation and I didn’t get even minimum marks that are required to clear the exam. I had never heard of such a thing before. Three years have passed since my 12th standard results were declared and no one called me before for this. And now when I had cleared my graduation they were telling me that I am holding a faulty mark-sheet. I was told that I will have to prepare again for 12th class and clear the exam to retain my mark-sheet, else they will cancel my qualifications and I would lose my graduation degree too. I was sweating in terror, extremely tensed and I had no clue how in the world I will go through all those mind-breaking chapters of trigonometry, inverse trigonometry, differentiation and integration etc. What if I flunk this time too? A chill ran through my spine. All those chapters of mathematics in 12th standard and three years of my graduation started taking rounds in my head. When my head was about to burst, I opened my eyes in panic.

P.S. This was a re-occurring nightmare in my life that repeated at least thrice. I always woke up panicked. I dreaded this subject more when ‘x’ and ‘y’ accompanied numbers. Things never remain fun and easy after that, those alphabets began to clamor into complicated formulas and more complicated formulas. Have you ever noticed more complex problems in our lives began with the introduction of x and y!

Thursday, April 28, 2016

We, the women have our own names!

“The utmost of a woman’s character is expressed in the duties of a daughter, sister and eventually wife and mother. It is secured by soft attraction and virtuous love. If a woman has to have a particular superiority for example a profound mind, it is best kept a profound secret. Humor is liked more but wit? No. It is the most treacherous talent of them all.”
- An excerpt from Becoming Jane (A biographical movie based on the life of famous author Jane Austen)

In the era when humans were surviving on hunting and foraging, women enjoyed equality where they used to go to foraging while men hunted. With the development of farming, when women could not participate in plowing, they started staying back at homes. Since women were not physically strong, they took up the charge of raising children and managing household chores and men became providers. The work was divided into two equals. However, from that era their conditions started deteriorating.

With the change in time, culture and traditions were introduced in our lives and different civilizations were formed. Here women, who were managing home, naive to the outside world, were bound into traditional dos and don’ts. One thing was common in every civilization, they were taught to be compassionate, quite, giving and enduring. They were discouraged to talk their heart out before others while men were left free and independent of such things. Women’s beauty became more of a duty than of a natural gift to them. While men started making marks in the world, women were like water- adjusting to the environment around, having no identity of their own.

The rules of marital alliance were simple. A woman should be good enough with all other qualities that a husband and his family can accept. She should abide by all rules of marital life and should always serve her new family, even if it means to be at her own cost. She should have endurance to stand behind her spouse in all thick and thins. She should practice patience to receive the love of her husband, no matter how much time it takes. Before her marriage she was known by her family and post marriage by her husband’s family and then her children. She dutifully followed her parents, her husband, her in-laws and her children. And meanwhile she lost her own self, amidst all. A time came in India, where after marriage she was given an entirely new name along with a new family name, to tell her that now she had a new identity, that she no more belongs to the parents and family she was born and raised in.

And what after that? Sometimes she was abandoned by her husband, sometimes she was beaten by her in-laws, sometimes even worse happened. On the other side, her family, in the fear of stigma, pushed her back to her new home. She was repeatedly told; she could only leave her husband’s home over her pyre.

Then time changed, she became educated and independent. Men started liking the ones who had their own say. Sharper, well-read, wittier women took over the shy ones. The measurements of beauty were no more their fair complexion or small waists, but their independence and confidence became priority. Although some males were still orthodox or traditional, but majority preferred to be in the company of exciting, knowledgeable women who stood as equals. Slowly women took the charge of their own lives and picked up the lovers/husband of their choice. The talks shifted from 'who will accept her' to 'who she will pick' as her prospective partner.

Meanwhile old traditions continued to ferment in the families. “This is your new home! Now that you have left your old home and parents, you should forget them and start a new life here with your new parents.” After being independent having an identity of her own, she was still fighting for where she belonged to. Now she was allowed to keep her name but she should be known by the surname of her spouse. Patriarchy still dominated, feminism was still struggling in the clutches of old traditions. Now, her in-laws loved her even more than those in the past. Elder women were more accepting of their new independent daughter in laws. But somewhere, some scraps of orthodox values and thoughts stayed glued to them. She dutifully accepted her new parents, new home, and a husband as her lifeline. But now she retaliated harder, when her husband got involved in infidelity. Even now her parents asked her to woo him and take him out from the clutches of another woman and her in-laws blamed her as a reason that their son had to go outside marriage. She still struggled with dilemma of how to handle these things. Soon world around her advanced a little more and she was told that her own life should be her priority and till the time she is not tranquil with her present state, she couldn’t take care of others. The atoms of compassion, endurance, love were still in her with those motherly instincts that were provided to her by nature.

But now she wanted to retain her own identity, the way she was born. She knew that only her parents will accept all the follies in her and still love her. She knew that even if she was tied with a man of her dreams, she still was the same human, with same genetic structure and upbringing with which she was born and raised. The fact that she was her parent's child was immutable, so she decided not to give up her family name. Traditions still tried to interfere in her decisions, and tried to find a midway of keeping her old surname and new one in that order behind her name. But she didn’t want to make a train out of her name. She had a social circle and old forgotten friends, who could still find her on social media with the name she had lived with all those years of learning and growing up. She didn’t want to change her documents from her old name to new name after marriage; then her new name to old one, if ever they part (due to any circumstances); then again old to new after remarrying. She knew that she and her partner were assembled in one relationship but she still was who she was. Her old home and parents still hold as much priority for her as they did before her alliance, and that didn’t mean she would ignore her new home. She decided to retain everything she was born with, no matter where she went.

P.S. I told my husband that I would not change my surname after marriage, that made him curious. He had never thought about those age long traditional subjects before and hence he asked me for reasons behind the same. I gave him my reasons, and told him if all of a sudden he changes his surname, how would he feel, he understood what I meant. He felt proud that I wanted to retain my own identity in the world. A lot of my cousins also appreciated the fact and decided that they too would not force surname change on their spouses. Even if a woman leaves her home for you, she still belongs to the place she was born in. Her parents and siblings still are a priority and most prized possessions for her in the world like yours are for you. A marriage is merging of two families together and no one takes a backseat in the process. Respect that!