Anti-women components from the commons

We have seen some politicians behaving as anti-women elements, here I found some more recently from the commons too. Despite so many raised voices, protests, mass movements and daily mishappenings with women, they are standing firmly-orthodox and stubborn. I published this initially in my last post about Domestic Violence, but a few people insisted to shorten it as it became too lengthy. So I decided to put this part here as a different post. 

Image Courtesy: Google

On my train journey from Delhi to Allahabad for Mahakumbh, I met a woman police constable and one engineering student. I was shocked to listen to their views-
 
The woman constable was constantly cursing females. According to her women deliberately compel men to rape them by wearing provoking clothes, and poor men are innocent that they have no other option but to rape them in reaction. So according to her, 'Rapists are poor innocent deliberately provoked souls who couldn’t fight these evil women'. Also, she mentioned that after Damini’s case when her family received huge amount of charity and became 'rich', many other females are intentionally getting raped to earn that huge amount from media and masses. It is sad to know that people in police have such mindsets and you can imagine how a victim must be treated while filing a case.

The second person on train, a guy from an engineering college had complaints about the one reserved coach for women in metro while they can also take two reserved seats in each general coach (which are 8-10). When I said in a crowded space women are harassed and abused by some lewd men, he said that they should be confined to that one reserved coach. The fact that he was a 19 year old with low maturity level is no excuse for his failure to understand the misbehavior faced by women and difference in the physical fitness of men and women. He had problem with everything else related to special reservations for women.

I know some more people who had problems that when rape has been an issue forever here in India why people are over-reacting now (referring to Damini’s Case). These are highly educated people, working in India and also in U.S. in very well renowned corporate houses. May be, at our top schools/institutes rather than just teaching technical stuff, people should also be taught subjects that could help them take a mature perspective on problems in society, to teach them sympathy and help them empathize with people who haven't been as blessed as them.

P.S. I debated with all my might but they were equally stubborn like me. I hope they introspect and let the women in this country breath...

I wrote a few lines yesterday on women's day sharing it here: 
Sunshine smiled upon me this morning, I sparkled some more today
we'll fly higher girls, for today is our special day... :)
Wish u all a very happy belated Women's Day.
Keep loving & respecting women in your life and the woman in you! 

Say No to Domestic Violence!

Recently I have posted a poem Apamanit (Hindi) meaning Insulted which was about the daily struggles of a marginalized woman, a victim of domestic violence and rape. Ever since my childhood, I have been hearing majorly from our housemaids and sweepers and wash-women about domestic violence at home. These women are earning and independent and yet suffering and at the mercy of their men. I can recall one day, when one of our house maids came home with bruises on her face and body, my mother asked her what had happened to which she replied: “ my husband came home drunk, wasted and hit me with a wooden stick badly. But he is not a bad person, he did it under the influence of alcohol and this morning he saw these bruises and said sorry and applied medicine over them.” After talking to her for some more time we discovered that this was a routine she was accustomed to. I was amazed that she doesn’t mind it at all.

(Image Courtesy: Google)

The reality is as against common perception, this malice is not restricted to poorer or illitrate sections of society. The case of a cousin of one of my mother's friend comes to my mind at this point. This woman was living with her husband and two children. Her husband, an engineer by profession, used to come late at night bringing some or other woman with him. He used to ask her to serve drinks and insulted and abused her verbally and sometimes used to hit her as well. When her children grew up they all moved out of that house and found shelter at the house of my mother's friend. I wonder why she never filed a case against that man! This was an incidence from the so called middle class of the society.

Another lady I know has a suspicious husband and suffers from daily verbal abuse from him. He keeps constant checks on where she goes, whom she talks to and suspects her fidelity each time she interacts with a male, whether he be young man from a grocery store or her co-worker or some random guy asking her directions. She also belongs to well-educated upper-middle class, in fact she's a professor.

This violence is not confined to only husbands but also the brothers and fathers of females. I know one more family with super rich background where the girl was in love with a guy belonging to a different caste. Her brothers beat her up and locked her inside a room for a long period of time.

Here I feel the need to mention one more case where I had a classmate in school (in 8th standard), who used to get severe fits whenever she used to secure poor marks in her subjects. Later I got to know that on getting low marks her father used to beat her severely at home as a punishment. I was into the tears knowing that.

(Image Courtesy: Google)

Why these women suffer so much?
Some women suffer because of orthodox mindset. They are compelled to think they are dependent and at mercy of male section of the society despite being independent and major contributor to the family income- upbringing of a chauvinistic society. Others are homemakers and dependent on their spouse. Separation is unthinkable when there are non-supportive parents/siblings, a divorced lady will be a stigma on the whole family and every one related to her will be judged by the society. There are some who stay in bad marriage for the sake of their vulnerable children.

Recently Indiblogger has come up with a new campaign Indichange(where they will harness the collective power of blogging to fight social evil) and supporting an award winning global campaign Ring the Bell i.e. Bell Bajao that calls on men and boys around the world to take a stand and make a promise to act to end violence against women. This campaign will start from 8th March 2013 to 8th March 2014. They are going to get a million men to make a million promises to ACT to end violence against women. It is very important to bring the change in every section and class of the society.

A question arose in my mind: People who will gather are already good, how will this change others who are not?

The answer was within me- By constantly talking about such issues, creating awareness about it and then writing about it further creates a vogue and people who have not yet become a part of this thought process. When people read and re-read, hear and re-hear about these issues they are compelled to introspect. Any mass movement is worth the cause and can bring the change. It may take time but it will not go without any impact. Also from the cases I have mentioned above we can conclude we need the support of men from every class of the society. So I request all the men around the world: 'BELL BAJAO', RING THE BELL! What better gift on women’s day than to give women in your life- a safe, secure, respectful and loving society.

We are no scavenger's feast,
And we want men, not beasts...

The People - Mahakumbh #3

 Here I am sharing the photographs of people around. Hope you'll Like the photographs. My final post on Mahakumbh.

Music-Seller

Mirror Image

Parrots

A child selling Prayer articles

People lighted scented sticks and Diyas near the ghats, where they were taking baths

Ascetic

Diksha ceremony among one of the Hindu religious Group

Seated

Beggar

Close-up

A man sitting with his bull- people were donating coins in the steel plate and Rice on the yellow mat

In the name of his long tresses

People tied these wishes knots near Akshay Vat

4 March - Day's Update

Yesterday was a wonderful day. Like every year wishes poured in abundance - I love each one of you for making me feel so special. Though unlike last year I missed the physical presence of many friends and relatives. Things that really moved me:
1. Arrival of my Aunt (Yamini Chachi) and my bubbly younger Cousin (Shreya) an evening before to celebrate things at birthday midnight. I love you both so much.

2. Unexpected but very pleasant arrival of my very close friend Ashima who has been recently married. Thankyou Ashish for making it possible for her to come. It felt wonderful.

We did some ho-halla and cut the cake. And then loads of midnight wishes- phone calls.

 3. Thankyou so much to Ashima for being with me for whole day. A birthday is brighter in the presence of close pals.
4. Thanks to people at Barbeque Nation for singing that birthday song for me. That cheer and excitement made me dance on the tune!

5. After reaching home from lunch I received  a surprise bouquet from my sister cum friend Saumya. You know how much I wanted you to be with me. Missed you a lot. Thankyou for sending me beautiful flowers. And of course I can never forget your birthday wishes at regular intervals for the whole day (you always manage that!)

6. Some dearly amazing wishes on facebook that made me smile big time from my younger cousin Apurva, and his (now mine as well) friends Sanket, Manu and Swati. Sanket I will always try to follow your advice - "Stay Young, Stay Foolish." Shine, Supreet, Neha, Shailly, Chavi Didi- Loved your wishes too! Thankyou Sumit for praying for me on this day. Bharat- thankyou for helping me in making that gift and being there for me (mere pagalpan mein ab tera bhi hath hai-Lol).
7. Thank you to some more friends for sending me special email b'day greetings. I appreciate your hard work.
8. Even if you are not present physically- I always feel nice about being your sister - Puneet Bhaiya!
Parul, Rinki, Piku- Missed you too! 
9. Thanks to my Buas- Shanti bua, Shama Bua, Prabha Bua for your Ashirwaad. They didn't miss the day and gave me so many wishes.
10. Last but most important- Thankyou Ma, Papa for being with me in all thick and thin. I know sometimes I am difficult, but you manage me so well. Thank you for Hugging me when I need, for caring about small and big problems of my life, for bearing my mad and crazy fits, and for those smiling and adoring eyes when you look at me. I exist because you do. Happy 4th march to you too!

Thank you to my My sister- Rochana who always make it so extra special for me on my birthday. Roaming all day long for my birthday presents, and birthday dresses. And we all love your redeemable handwritten vouchers more than anything. I know how hard we fight, crib or cry we are there for each other to stand firm and strong against the high tides of the world and will continue to love each other in a very uncommon way. (haha- ye apne aap aya)

Sugat- I wish you all the best for completing your studies soon and take a high position job where you can manage to save 4 march for me. I love you :) And thank you for lifting me every now and then - I enjoy it and feel light. :P

Above all- Thank you To God for blessing me with all wonderful, loving and caring people around and blessing me with a wonderful destiny. Give me strength to keep them happy and with me. Bless me with whatever else you want. ;)

For the first time I received so many- flowers and cut three cakes in a Day... That ofcourse multiplies the celebration... :P

 
P.s. Pardon me if I have forgot to mention you (anyone), but your presence and wishes were warm. Thankyou for wishing me

4 March - Yet Again...

 

P.s. Celebrated another year beautifully...

P.P.S. I wish to remain the same child for my Parents, years are just numbers. Smiles and Laugh matter the more I guess.

P.P.P.S. Happy 4th march to all :))

Mahakumbh #2 - Musk

While roaming around in Kumbh Mela I saw a roadside vendor selling three different things, I had no idea about. Out of those three I was most curious about one that was hairy and round I had not seen anything of this sort before. I inquired about it first, it was Musk! The other two were Shilajit (black colored in the photograph shared below) which is used as a medicine in traditional Indian medicine system- Ayurveda, and third was Asafoetida (brown in color).
Musk or Kastoori (Hindi) is a greasy secretion with a powerful odor, produced in a glandular sac beneath the skin of the abdomen of the male musk deer and used in the manufacture of perfumes. All I knew was it is obtained from Musk deer. Initially hunters used to kill these deer to take off the musk sac and used to dry it under the sun or dip it in hot oil. Later it became illegal to kill an animal for musk sac.Several governments strictly banned the killing of the Musk as it is on the verge of extinction like other species.
It was found that musk can still be taken without killing the deer. Since musk deer gets uncomfortable when musk sac is full. Because of itchy and irritated feeling it attempts to scratch it on a rough rock and peels it off without spilling the musk. Experts collect these musk sacs which are called at this stage: Musk Mouse which is extremely rare and expensive nowadays. Musk Deers are found in  India, Nepal, Pakistan, China, Tibet, Siberia.

To read more click here

Click of displayed products from a roadside vendor

My aunt holding a Musk Sac

from front to back - Shilajit, Musk sacs, Asafoetida

P.S. I don't know if the musk sacs being sold were taken out by the poachers after killing the animal, or they were being collected by the locals after the deer peels it off on its own.

Mahakumbh #1

  I recently visited Maha Kumbh Mela, Allahabad, Uttar Pradesh. Mahakumbh happens every 12 years and Ardh-Kumbh happens every six years. It is believed that the drop of elixir fell from the Kumbh (pitcher) after samudra manthan, according to one of the story from Hindu mythology. To read further about Kumbh read here on wikipedia. To read the story click here.

People from across the nation go to Mahakumbh to bathe in Holy water.

Pilgrims Gathered during day for Royal Bath, Allahabad, Uttar Pradesh

Sangam Ghat During Night

 To be continued...